"So pretty,so smart, what a waste of a young heart"

Although I had never heard of Anya Marina, I had the pleasure to watch New moon. Which by the way, I fell in love with because I could relate. Relate to the way Edward leaves Bella and what she goes through, how she begins to fall for someone else who could be better for her but she remains thinking about Edward, only difference is he comes back and he keeps his promises. Thats besides the point, I heard this song while watching the movie and it caught my attention.

I later came home and stayed up until four in the morning, I began to read these lyrics and it was as if she had written this from my persepective.

" So pretty so smart, such a waste of a young heart.
what a pity , what a shame. What's the matter with  your man?. . .

I'm a satellite heart, lost in the dark. I'm spun out so far. You stop, I start but I'll be true to you ."

This is where my insomnia line comes in:

"I hear you're living out of state, running in a whole new scene. They say I haven't slept in weeks, you're the only thing I see."

this song touched me so much, and it's insane I'm going through every word she said and it is exactly how I feel.

<|3

just whats on my mind at this very moment:

you promised me you'd never walk away again, that i meant too much to you. is this your way of showing your love? by completely forgetting about me? everytime you pour your heart out, you later ignore me. you can pretend as if you don't feel the way you truely do but the feelings we share are undeniable, they're there, and you can't just let them go. we've been through it all, you've always been on my mind. its not fair, not fair at all. i try to find happyness and when it seems so close our memories start to set in. when you used to hug me and i'd feel so safe wrapped around your arms, but these tears won't bring you back. they won't make you realize that your pride is stopping you from being happy. "it's hard to trust someone after her" we're two different people, what can i do to make you understand that i'm not her? it's going to hurt, more than it ever has but i'm sorry to say, your in the past .

Apple

Apple store in Roosevelt Field mall, with my partner in crime, Brooke. I swear we do this every time we're at the mall teehee.

Church

November

This year has gone by in a blink of an eye. It's incredible. Filled with late nights, laughs,love,tears,stress,and happiness. Gained and lost friends. My mindset has evolved, I no longer waste my time on meaningless incidents, but I focus on what is yet to come. I have learned to value life in such a different way. I strayed from God for a while, but I have found him again. Come to peace with my self, and I'm attempting to better myself, spirtually, and emotionally. Only one more month awaits, and by the time you realize it, it will be 2010. Make the best out of every second !